Friday, September 2, 2011

Today is for all my survivalist friends back in Idaho. We have recently flung ourselves back to a time long ago and are learning to live the "Hunter/Gather Lifestyle" with a Caribbean twist, of course. Now before anyone gets all excited and is thinking I have lost it completely, keep in mind you all thought my brain took a permanent vacation about sixteen months ago when we moved to the Caribbean. Well I guess technically all of my body took a permanent vacation, and anyone who wants to put a negative spin on that is just plain jealous. But I digress...

Let me give you a rundown of how our days begin a al "Hunter/Gather". First upon waking, bleary eyed and groggy you must stealthily approach the kitchen counter. Our kitchen counter is a veritable jungle of junk not the least of which is my cell phone that remains constantly plugged in, because the signal here is so weak that the battery runs down in a matter of minutes if it is not continuously tethered to the wall. Therefore, in order to get any calls at all, it is constantly on charge and call forwarded into the house line so you can call me. I, of course cannot call out, but that's another blog entirely. Back to the counter...after shuffling aimlessly through the assorted other junk that Rick insists on accumulating on said counter you might get lucky and find "The Key". Ah, "The Key". The source of all life giving sustenance. Just so you understand this key is as important as the high powered rifle most traditional hunter/gathers use or maybe their trusted "skinning knife". "The Key" is your salvation to either eat for the day or languish in the depths of a growling stomach and nagging pain in your gut. "The Key" is the end all, be all for us as hunter/gathers.

Following the finding of "The Key"comes the preparation. Remember it is the wee early hours of the morning. The sun is barely up and you must carefully prepare. You must choose your wardrobe appropriately or you may have to endure the endless shrieks of the dreaded"neighbor ladies". Laugh if you will, but a shrieking "neighbor lady" has been know to send the most fearless of hunting men to a dark cave to hide quaking in their boots, praying for her to stop. After "The Key" preparation is of the utmost importance.

Next is the trek. If you are lucky enough to find "The Key" and prepared enough to pass the "neighbor ladies" you must show bravery and endurance beyond compare and begin on the trek. Thirteen large stairs through the jungle and two fierce walkway over and four stars down into the pit, cross a suspension bridge and you have arrived at the golden destination. The place where all your efforts will come together and your mission may be fulfilled.

Finally you must enter a dark sealed cave. Where no ray of sunlight can enter. There may be large hairy things that will jeopardize your success, but you persevere. Finally, you see it. The large white vault that contains your salvation. You creep over and secretly work the combination, suddenly a light comes on, it's as if all the glory of your find is illuminated for you to enjoy.

Without a second thought your wrestle your prey into your arms hoping you can carry it all, back out of the cave and do not forget "The Key", over the suspension bridge up the stairs down the paths and down more stairs. Finally your safely back at your kitchen counter where you carelessly toss "The Key"with a devil may care attitude, knowing that your are capable, you are invincible, you are the master hunter/gather and will eat for another day.

All this because the power outages of Hurricane Irene fried our fridge and we can't get a repairman until next Tuesday September 6th, Are you kidding me? Our food is two buildings over in C bldg and we live in A. You have to be fully dressed, no easy feat for me that early in the morning on a hot sticky day and alert because the unit we are using in Bldg C has the hurricane shutters closed up because it is unoccupied. It's creepy going in there. Trust me most days is feels exactly like I wrote it. Ah paradise! "Weather is here,wish you were beautiful." All kidding aside I am lovin' it.

Remember, this is my journal, where I write primarily for myself commas, like thinking are always optional. Just be glad I have spell check.


  1. Why don't they just swap refrigerators for a week?

  2. Yeah, that would be too easy. This is the Caribbean,nothing works like that here.

  3. WHA HAA HAA WHA HAA, sorry but the story was funny, not the situation.

  4. great story are a great is pretty funny...especially the part about them not swapping refrigerators...have you suggested that? Maybe it never occurred to them to do so!!!

  5. Fridge swap will never happen. These are individually owned condos placed into a rental pool. My food is in one persons condo and my fridge is in another's, not all owned by the same person.