Monday, February 7, 2011

OK, so today we are in the midst of having the deck off our main living area torn up and replaced, it is a messy job that is noisy and annoying, we call the property manager to tell her that the condo association is working on this and she needs to line up the guys to replace the tile on the deck as soon as they finish, and we are really hoping that they can have everything done by the 17th of the month when a friend is coming out for a visit; when she proceeds to tell us that the owner of the condo wants more rent, so as of March 1 our rent will be going up. This is adding insult to injury as we are seriously being inconvenienced by these repairs that we did not ask for. Anyway, this on top of all our other worries about employment, encouraged us to go out today and look around at other housing options.

We really haven't found anything that much better for what we are paying and so far we have found what a good deal we have had and that even with the increase it's not such a bad deal. We still have a few more places to contact, so no decision has been made, and then there is the matter of deposits, if we move, that of course, we don't have, so.........................

Later in the day I was talking to someone I love and trust, looking for some condolences and hoping to have some of my fears abated (I have seriously begun to worry about having to live in our car) when this person reminded me that "I choose to come and live here", at first I was hurt by this comment, mostly because I was scared and looking for some comfort but as I thought more and more about it, I started to turn my whole attitude around.

I realized that actually I didn't choose to come here but rather it was chosen for me, all the same I am greatly blessed by the opportunity. I have not doubt in my mind whatsoever that this is exactly where Rick and I should be at this time in our lives. Finally, even if I were to end up living in my car, I'm am having the adventure of a lifetime, something most people don't even dare to dream about. Now don't I feel silly for complaining and worrying. There are people who would say that I lead a charmed life. A few weeks ago in my writing class we were asked to write an index titled the chapters of our lives. When I looked back at mine I realized that I have been allowed to live a fairy tale, a great adventure, a completely full lifetime and it ain't over yet. What a blessing is that!

I talked it over with Rick and I decided that we are looking at this employment thing all wrong, we need to see our time here is as a great blessing, an advantage that a lot of people don't have and never will get (only because they won't let themselves have it), we need to stop complaining and worrying and start having an attitude of gratitude, and be grateful and in awe of what we have asked for and what we have gotten. We need to really start enjoying the ride and trust that "With God all things are possible", if not how did I ever get this far.

I am truly grateful that my trusted friend gave me exactly what I needed today; a great reminder of how much I have to be thankful for and of how blessed I am. Oh, and by the way, in all of this I have come back to the knowledge that if we are supposed to be here, that job is out there too, we just need to be patient and do all that we can do and know that the Lord will come through. What a day!

1 comment:

  1. I love you, and I hope that you know that. I worry about you, but I know that you are where you belong and that no matter how difficult things get you will get relieved of this stress and that a brighter better day is ahead of you. Just think you might get to live at the beach, you might get a job opportunity of a lifetime, you might get to have an even better adventure than just living in St. Croix. I hope this helps, but if nothing else know that I am thinking of you lots, praying for you, and that I love you both very, very much!