Saturday, May 7, 2011

Saturday, May7th, Mother's Day Eve and I am reminded how much I dislike Mother's day. My Mom has been gone for thirty-two years, so at this time I only miss her more (funny how you never get over missing your Mom) and I think Mother's Day is just another day that ends up being more about everybody but Mom.

I really miss my granddaughter Macy. Tonight is her dance recital and I'm heartbroken to not be there. It's funny that this would mean so much to me, but I know how important it is to her. I have to say that I love her so much and I love how she loves me. Completely unconditionally. she never tells me, maybe or well see, she listens to me and I know how much she wants to please me and in return I want to do everything to make her happy and do what I can to see that she has a wonderful life. I know I'm not her parent and that raising her is not my responsibility, but I still want to do what I can to grant her every wish. At Mother's Day, I really miss her.

I had a whole vent planned that would probably only hurt the feelings of my family and I really don't want to do that. For years we used to go to Yellowstone National Park on Mother's Day. It was great, we had a nice dinner up there at the Old Faithful Lodge, we didn't know anybody except who ever was with us, it was different, most of those Mother's Days at Yellowstone we didn't even go to church. I used to feel a little bad about that, but then we missed all the Mother's Day talks that only made me feel bad anyway.

Here on St. Croix the church has a big dinner for the Mother's on the Saturday before Mother's Day (tonight). This year Rick is in charge. All of that proved to be so much fun, more fun than I could stand actually, so you will note he's at the Mother's Day dinner and I'm at home writing this blog. It's not really his fault, but all the rushing around, so he could make it perfect for everyone and all the hustle and bustle for me, not to mention that he told me he wouldn't have time to get me anything for Mother's Day, so why didn't I just pick something out in the store we were at (Gee, Honey how thoughtful), was more than I could take. It's not about presents but about thoughtfulness.

On a happier note, I was down at the pool working out and a man came through the gate heading for the Italian Restaurant. I said "Good Evening" and he returned the greeting, then he asked me "how I was doing", I lied and said good and returned the question. then he told me that he wasn't doing too good, he was at a real downturn in his life, but that he knew it would get better, that there had to be balance in life and we had to feel down to know when we were up. We talked for a few minutes and I thanked him for his message and told him that I needed that. He told me that was strange and that talking about it helped him to feel better too. His parting words were to never give up, no matter what.

I have know idea who he is and why we interacted, but after this conversation I do know that God loves me.

1 comment:

  1. Well, we miss you more today than ever. Thought about going to Yellowstone, but it would not be the same. Sorry you were/are feeling so down. Not much I can do, but tell you that we love you and wish we were there for THIS HOLIDAY!