Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Moral Dilemma

I like to give my characters a moral dilemma and see what they will do with it. I'm not too crazy about the idea of having my own. It's great when everything is going great and you can just blah, blah,blah your way through, but when the going gets tough and you are called on to put your money where your mouth is, look out.

On Monday I went on and on about how lucky I am to live where I do and I even had the audacity to state that if anyone heard me complaining they should slap me, please. I can't believe I said that out loud. I am the most superstitious person you have ever met. My husband calls me the resident gypsy. It is most assuredly "bad luck" to say out loud "how lucky you are". There you have it, I brought the current moral dilemma on myself.

When we lived in Florida we were very fortunate to live for one year right on the water. The second year we lived in a large house with a swimming pool in a cage, in a great neighborhood, with good schools. (I neglected to mention this Monday in my 'Room with a View' post, possibly because fate knew what was waiting for me and that I would need to bring it up today.) We, of course, were tenants in both places. That's me again, no strings. (Also fortunate, because I hated Florida and couldn't wait to get back to the Rocky Mountain West.) Anyway...back to my fortunate in Florida story, when a good friend stopped by our second house ,on the way home from closing on a nice little house they had just purchased in Bonita Springs, (without all the fine accouterments of my big rental house) she gave me these words of wisdom.

She said,"At first I wanted to be jealous,but then I realized how hard it is for you here and all of the terrible things you have to deal with and this house is payment for those sacrifices. You have here a sanctuary to come home to and get away from the nastiness you deal with on a day to day basis. I don't have that in my life, and I am grateful.  My little house is a fine sanctuary for the tranquil life I am able to live". 

I was not sure what to make of that. We were dealing with some ugly issues during that time in Florida. Issues a lot bigger than my cry baby attitude of "I don't like it here. I want to go back to the mountains. I want to live with four seasons. I miss the snow. Blah, blah, blah. (Hard to believe,today I live in the Caribbean and love it. What a difference a decade makes.) I was asked to Pay It Forward. I have been blessed. I have lived a 'charmed' life. I have lived in beautiful places, that  provide incredible sanctuaries. I live in one right now,if you don't believe me checkout the previous post. I'm not being asked to leave. I am being asked to make a sacrifice. Probably a minor one at that, but for right now it seems kind of major. Will I make the right decision? I hope so. Will I learn something? I hope so. Will I expect some thing in return? I hope not, I have already been paid in full.

Crap. Moral dilemma's are fun to write. (I enjoy making the characters stretch.) They are a pain in the butt to live. I guess someone wants me to stretch also.

I have a headache. I need to get back to a place where "thinking is optional".

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