Are you ever just plain crabby? Sometimes, I am. Then sometimes I'n just plain old fine, and then I drop a glass of water in the kitchen and make a big mess. When I go to get the mop to clean it up, my bucket is missing When I ask, "where's the bucket?" I find that it is on the porch with Rick's jeans soaking in it, why is he soaking his jeans? I'm not sure but right now for all I care he could be soaking his head, all I want it my bucket to put this stinkin' mop in, cause I really didn't want to be fooling around with it in the first place, all I really wanted was a glass of water. That's why I'm crabby.

Actually, I'm having one of those days when it's hard to focus and I'm kind of anxious and feeling like I'm going in a thousand directions at once and getting absolutely nothing done. We did go grocery shopping and spent about a million dollars, because I had let the supplies get so low. Did I ever mention how much I hate grocery shopping? Anyway, that's done and most of it is put away, I'll get the rest put away in a day or two. Second to hating grocery shopping, I hate putting the groceries away, because we have so little room and I'm tired of being creative about where I put things. Possibly this has something to do with my inability to find them once I have put them away creatively.

Anyway...I really need to finish the third book in the Hunger Games. I'm not sure that I'm enjoying these books but I do have a hard time putting them down. Maybe it's because they are so disturbing and I keep hoping for something to be redeeming or at least hopeful about them. I think I'll write my own personal review when I'm finished. It might be helpful for me to understand the books and what all the who-hah about them is.

Thinking back, maybe today is one of those days when I'm just plain old crabby.

Trying to motivate myself to do something; preferably write. This weekend is the Ironman, actually it's a Half Ironman here on St. Croix (only here would we actually have a "Half" Ironman, oh the images that congers up). Apparently, it's half because it's only 70.something miles. Are these people crazy? First they swim 1.something miles, then they bike about 56 miles (that's more than the length of the island twice), then they run the rest which must be about 12 or 13 miles, right? That adds up to 70.something, doesn't it? I'm exhausted just trying to add up the figures.

Now I have absolutely nothing against fitness, but this is more like medieval torture. Who puts their body through this? Just because they can, or they can die trying. Better yet who dreams this stuff up, so these poor souls can put themselves through it. Sometimes I wonder where we are going next?

Realistically, I suppose if someone who was a serious competitor in these games? sports? (I'm not sure what to call them) wanted to take me on, the only possible chance I would have of making any kind a defense is verbally and then probably only if it was within minutes of them finishing their races. This is definitely one of those things that I simply do not understand.

Being physically fit, I get it. The exhilaration of running, swimming, biking, I get that too. The satisfaction of competition, I'm having a harder time with this one. Punishing your body to the extreme, just to say you can, not even on my radar. I suppose someone could argue that there might come a time when you would only survive if you were this "fit", and while that may be true, I'm not too worried about that type of survival. There are worse things than dying. Being prepared in all ways is one thing, being over the top in any area, is another.

After all my jibes, I do take my hat off to the competitors, I may not understand their desire to compete in this type of arena but I do have to admit that they are all incredible specimens of endurance. So congratulations to whom ever will be the Caribbean Half Ironman.

Some days I think I'm reading and writing myself into confusion. "The past week has been one of them. I think maybe I'm sleep deprived (having been having a hard time sleeping and then when I do sleep a hard time waking up. Crazy?)

Blogging because I should not necessarily because I want to. Struggling with people just wanting to get the job done and not really caring how it's done or the effect it will have on the participants. Sure getting the job done is important but depending on the job, isn't it more important to see that it has a lasting effect and that the people it will include are properly taken care of. So many people just care about the ability to check something off their to-do list. You shouldn't put people on a to-do list and you certainly shouldn't be checking them off. People are what it is all about.

The question is; How do you teach this? The last thing I want is to enter into some sort of competition over who is going to get their way. I do care about the people. I do want them to have a good experience, at whatever they are doing. I do want the things we are teaching/doing to have some lasting effect, not be something to be put up with. Why is this such an uphill battle?

Rick and I are reading Isaiah. Some days I'm real impatient with him, (Isaiah, not Rick, although Rick has been known to try my patience also) because he talks and talks and talks, much of the time, saying the same thing over and over in a different way. It came to me a few days ago that I sit in a lot of meetings just like that, you have to talk and talk and say the same thing over and over until the other participants think it's their idea and they start to listen. So, I'm wondering; Do I do that same thing? Probably.

Apparently listening/reading is just as important as speaking/writing. Hopefully we can all do a little bit more of both, listening/reading that is.

Great Expectations! Today is one of those days of Great Expectations for me. Of course, it's Easter a wonderful day for all Christians. A day when we celebrate that "He Lives". This is not only the "good news", folk, it's the "best news". Because He lives, we each have the opportunity to live our lives out here on the earth and the even great opportunity to live again for time and all eternity. Time and all Eternity, now there's a concept that you don't hear about all the time. Make no mistake, just because you don' hear about it all the time, does not mean it is not real. Time is eternal and so our our lives. Oh this earth life will come to and end but that end is only the beginning of something so great that we can't imagine. Don't believe me, just wait and see. In the meantime make the most of this life in every way that you can because everything you do here will determine exactly how you will live for time and all eternity.

Thank you Lord and Happy Easter to all.

I am definitely having one of those; "what did I do so right and it doesn't get much better than this" days. Today came pretty close to being a perfect day. Rick and I were both able to relax, get a few things done that we each needed to on the computer (with no fights over keyboard time). I worked out in the pool, we had a nice lunch and went to the beach.

My favorite beach is Cane Bay and my favorite time to be there is late afternoon. There's a band playing at one of the local bars on the beach and the sunsets are spectacular. It's never crowded and their is always surf. We drove home at dusk(it was dark by the time we actually got home) and even that was beautiful. We got to see the cruise ship leaving Fredricksted and coming around the point of the island (an awesome site).

We all have days when we think "why me", unfortunately most of those why me days are because something unpleasant has happened. Today was one of those "why me" days, when I wonder just exactly what did I do "so right" so as to have such a peaceful and wonderful day.

Of course, it has not been lost on me that this is Easter Weekend. I find it refreshing that here in the in islands (on my island, at least) no one is ashamed of their religion and, religious holidays are celebrated full tilt. Even the US Post Office was closed for Good Friday. Imagine what the atheists in the states would do with that information.

I used to feel real mournful on Good Friday, thinking how could people do what they did to Jesus Christ to any human being, but recently I have been reminded that we don't get Easter and the wonderful news of that day without the sadness of Good Friday. In order to know the good..........

May each of you who read this, be as fortunate as I, and have numerous "why me" days and I mean why me in the sense that I have felt today.

Happy Easter, for it is one of the happiest days of the year!

I love you Mother Earth and today is your day. I remember my first Earth Day, the first time I was made aware of Earth Day. Rick and I were back living in Frisco, Colorado a "fringe" town to the Colorado ski resorts and a place for the environmentally minded. Anyway, we decided to take the kids (then 6 and 12) to some of the Earth Day activities, in an effort to help them understand their personal stewardship over Mother Earth. One of the things we did was go to the Frisco Town Hall where they were showing a film on the Tuna fishing fleet and it's devastating effect on the world's dolphin population. I can proudly say, I have not eaten tuna fish since, even though Charlie tries to assure us "no dolphins where harmed in the harvesting of his fish".

Maybe not eating tuna fish isn't enough but, hey, it's a start. I protested against nuclear proliferation in the early seventies and at that time it was not only bombs that we were talking about. If enough of you want to hear my rant on nuclear proliferation, let me know and I'll publish my article on Godzilla vs. the World here. I'm wondering if we are really paying attention and taking our stewardship seriously.

I really wouldn't call myself an environmentalist (at least I never took my life in my hands in that manner while I lived in Idaho) but there are some things that we really need to consider individually and collectively. Personally, I thought the wolf reintroduction to Yellowstone National Park was a dumb idea. First, we hunted them into endangered, then because we could, we reintroduced them into a population that was not prepared and in an area that was no longer wilderness. My first hand experience with just how dumb this idea was, came when they were showing up in my backyard. They proved to not be afraid of us or our barking dogs. I can promise you that when you encounter a wolf up close and personal and see just how big and carniverous they are, you would be hard pressed to not think their reintroduction was at the very least, a dumb idea.

On the other hand I have thought for a long time that the use of nuclear fission for any form of power is a really dumb idea. If you are serious about how dumb I think this idea is and enough of you ask, I just might publish my article "Godzilla vs. the World" here some time soon. We are messing with something that is so powerful, we cannot control and has the potential to destroy us all, without having "all the information". This simply does not sound like a good idea.

When I first took my children to an Earth Day celebration I wanted them to learn about their stewardship, because I really believe that we all have a stewardship over the earth. Many of my friends believe that God is in charge and He will straighten everything out. While I subscribe to their logic in one sense, I do believe that in our final interview with Him, He will ask what we did with the resources He gave to us. I don't think it will cut it to blame those in authority, for the lack of interest we took in preserving this marvelous earth that He created for us. We may not be able to stop the nuclear meltdown taking place in Japan, but we can personally do our part, whatever that may be. Each of us will have to search our hearts and our neighborhoods to see what we can do. Each of us will have to think about that one little thing that we can start, today, to help Mother Earth recover, rejuvenate and replenish herself.

Can you make a difference? I believe so, but it matters more if you believe so. Does God expect us to do our best to protect, preserve and in general be good stewards over this Earth that he created for us? I wholeheartedly believe so, but it will only matter to you, if you search your heart and see what you can do. Can we drive a little less, or a more efficient vehicle? Can you properly dispose of all trash and try to use those stubborn plastics a little less? Can you conserve and protect our water supply? Can you make a difference, I believe so, but it will only matter if you find it in your heart to do the same and so much more.

I haven't eaten tuna fish for over twenty five years, has that made a difference in the dolphin population, I hope so, but at least it has made a difference in my heart.

I almost can't believe it and I could have missed it, if it had not been for one of the blog's that I follow mentioning they were celebrating the same thing. WHAT? Today is the first anniversary of my blog. I started writing one year ago today when we had finalized our decision to move to St. Croix in the U.S.Virgin Islands.

My main reason for starting this blog was to have a personal journal of this move. Also, it was easier to send people here for updates as to exactly when we would be leaving and new address, etc, etc, etc. It has evolved into the "slightly mad ravings of a word junkie". As in, I love to write and I love to read and I am really glad that I have this record of the last year.

Just so you know, I ain't stopping here. The adventure is just beginning. Which has me thinking...

Adventure, what is it to you? I know it can be just sitting down to start a new book to some people and to others an African Safari. Do you have adventure in your life? If not, why? I think each day should be made up of , at least, some little adventure. A few months ago, it was a big adventure for me to really drive around, alone, on the island and see if I could find my way back home. I, obviously, made it and I was really proud of myself.

Writing is also an adventure for me. I keep working and reworking my book and hoping someone will want to read it, read it cover to cover that is. Everyone is curious at first, but can I hold their interest? Can I make you care about my characters and get involved in their lives? Can I connect those words that I love so much, into a meaningful, interesting and colorful story? Can I make you laugh out loud, cry, jump at the bump in the night and wonder out loud what happens next? Can I paint a picture with words that let's you see the sky, feel the ocean against your skin and hear the sounds of the night? I guess we'll see.

I sincerely hope that those of you that are close to me have adventure in your life. This life is meant for us to have Joy, to find Peace and to learn to Love completely and unconditionally and I can't imagine accomplishing any of those things without adventure. We have to be actively engaged in life and most importantly willing to step outside our "comfort zone", whatever that might mean to you.

I realize every day how fortunate I am to be sealed eternally to a man who not only indulges my quest for adventure but who whole heartedly embraces it also. Sometimes one of us is pulling while the other pushes, but for the most part we are working as a team. For me, life is good (better than good, actually) and the adventure is only beginning. My wish for all of you is to find your adventure a live it to the fullest. Like my daughter likes to say; "You only get one chance, so make it count". You may never pass this way again, so don't miss a thing.

This summer I plan to see the "Southern Cross" for the first time. Adventure her I come.

Alright, already. I have got to keep my finger off that post button, because there are two more things. First of all tomorrow is an important day in "blog history", check it out. And will you sign up to follow already, and enter the contest. At this rate we are not going to be able to have the drawing on May 1st, so sign up to follow and tell your friends.

Now ~ push the Post Buttom!

Just as I was pushing the "POST" button on that last blog, I had the thought; "do you really want to shut up that inner voice". Isn't that where most of the great stories come from? Isn't that most often the source of great inspiration? Isn't that the place from which you normally take "good direction?" so, here is the real dilemma, How to shut up the negative inner voice and keep the positive one flowing? How to not overreact to those course corrections that we so often need, yet when they come along we think that we are doing everything wrong? How to truly be positive and see the glass half full, even at times when we do not get everything done, said, or thought. Now there is the stuff you want to bottle. You would be a millionaire!

Just a few thoughts.

Trying to have a catch up day. The last two days I spent running around like a nut, then their was the mental running around like a nut over tis whole "broken computer" thing, then there's the not sleeping thing that has me running around in my head all night long (if I was smart I would get up and write, but I keep thinking that I'll drift off to sleep in the next few minutes, Hah!). Anyway....every so often you just have to have a catch up day.

I spent mine sleeping in (8:30AM~ at one time I thought that was the crack of dawn), doing homework and other computer work and some reading. That was about it. I'm current with my class,but I have a few quizzes that I need to go back and take. I'm current with my other computer work, but I didn't write anything significant (unless you count this, but it's not done yet), so I have that kind of blah, kind of anxious feeling that I really didn't get anything done today. Why is it that we feel that we have to get something done every day? Everyday we get up, we get something done. I suppose it's that we feel that we have to do something significant, but then what is significant? Who makes those decisions? For me it's that inner voice, that keeps telling me that I'm not quite good enough, that my daily contributions are not significant enough, that I'm not really contributing. I really need to tell that inner voice to shut up.

I tried and tried everything I knew and everything anyone told me, to fix the keyboard problem on my laptop for free. I spent most of yesterday downloading all of the recommended updates for everything and anything on the computer. I had been told that others had a keyboard problem and it fixed itself after they updated their software. Not me. Rick had called HP support a few days ago and they, of course, said that we needed a new keyboard, but I wasn't convinced that some guy in Calcutta could know that my keyboard had gone belly up. Well this morning I gave in and 1 trip to Cost-U-Less, $29.99 and a new Wireless keyboard and Wireless mouse, and I'm back in business.

The first day without my computer, I was in an absolute panic, now four days later, I don't know what I want to write. I did find that I did not like feeling so forlorn without my Internet connection and felt like I needed to "break the habit". That's the Internet habit, I can't seem to stop writing. Just a "word junkie" at heart.

I did spend more time the last two days with people. That was not necessarily an offshoot of the computer being broken, it was more like some things that I had to do. I found that I had a good time, It was fun to actually talk to and listen to someone and it was good to get out of the house (other than my trips to the pool) and interact.

Spent time today at church with the kids having an early Easter Egg Hunt. We colored them, decorated them and then some of the older kids hid them and the younger ones searched them out. It was fun. I particularly enjoyed watching and listening. It's good exercise at being more human.

Now I'm feeling very human and very tired.

Just so you knmow! I'nm nmot bveinmg a laZY SLUGz bvut this is what's conminmg out of nmy conmputer right nmow. Do I wanmt to screanm, you bvettcha. Anmother funm thinmg goinmg onm is that to type a c, you habve to hold downm a funmctionm key. This is NMOT, I repeat NMot onme of those silly enmails that tellyou how bvrillianmt you are if you canm read this. Right nmow this is nmy life.

Oh anmd bvy the way just inm case you canm read this, I started to "Tweet" againm anmd people are followinmg nme left anmd right, nmot sure who all of thenm are bvy they are followinmg nme anmd Ebvenm inm this desperate state I canm onmly get 9 of you to follow nme. Oh well who would really follow this anmyway. I'nm tryinmg to dececide if I should post the bvlog address onm Twitter. This should gibve ebveryonme fits.

See you inm the funmnmy papers or padded cell, whichebver I reach first.

How's this for another day in paradise? Last night after supper, I'm sitting at the computer and Rick is cleaning up and this beeping starts. Three shrill little beeps in a row and then a pause and then the three beeps again and again and again. I'm so engrossed in my writing that I didn't notice at first, then Rick hollers from the kitchen, " is that us? or is it coming from outside?"

"Outside", I say and continue to write and think, why is he bothering me?

So the beeping goes on for about a half an hour and stops. It really didn't bother me much because I was "involved" in something. We go downstairs to watch "True Grit", the old one not the new one (just in case you were interested) and promptly start to fall asleep, so we turn the TV off. Around midnight, there it is again, this incessant beeping. It's not really loud, but loud enough and in the middle of the night it was enough to wake me up. So, I get up go the bathroom, get back in bed and try to ignore it. Finally, I fall asleep but around 3AM, there it goes again, I groan, roll over and think I'm going insane. I say something to Rick and he snaps something back and then there is silence, except for the infernal beeping. Somehow we manage to fall asleep, but at around 5AM guess who's back. Now I'm crazed, I start mumbling about the beeping. I know Rick is awake, but he's ignoring me and this is only making me more crazy, so of course, I start on him, he gets up and goes upstairs. Next thing you know I hear the front door open and close and I think, I hope he's got dressed before he went out, but since the beeping is still going on, I really don't care much. Now Rick comes back in comes downstairs and tells me the beeping is coming from the condo next door. This is some good news, NOT, because the people who live next door have been out of town for a few months and who knows when they will be back. Again it stops.

Now I have the most horrific headache and an extreme dread, knowing that in 2 to 3 hours the beeping will be back. Lucky Rick, he gets to go to work today and get away from the beeping beeping! After slurping down some Alka Seltzer Cold Plus (just in case my headache is caused by my beeping sinsuses instead of the beeping beeping or maybe it's a combination of both) I lay back down to go quietly crazy. Rick is talking to someone, so I get up and hear that he is outside, talking to the General Manager explaining the beeping problem, when he gets off the phone he tells me the GM said "he would look into it". Now there's some good news, it only takes them about 3 weeks to look into anything around here. Seriously, I am wishing that I had brought my .38 from the states. I could go next door, shoot off the lock and then go inside and shoot whatever is beeping and come back home and get some sleep, or at least enjoy the quiet in the VI lockup, anything would be better than this BEEPING.

Well...I'm not exactly sure what happened between then and now, I must have fallen back to sleep, probably the beeping stopped first and then I fell back to sleep. It's after 10AM now and so far no beeping. Maybe the GM did look into it,, or maybe the beeping batteries died or the aliens left, or who really cares. All I know for sure is that, for now, the beeping has stopped. If tomorrow's post looks like this @#$**&^%##@! you can assume that it started back up again.

Disappointment, what an awful word and and even more terrible feeling. I hate being disappointed but even worse I really hate disappointing someone. This is probably the most significant reason that I really don't want anyone to get the idea that "I'm all that and a bag of chips". I seems that as soon as someone thinks that about anyone else, they are ripe for disappointment. Ever wonder why?

My best guess is that nobody is "all that and a bag of chips", at least, to the fullest sense. I think that we all have certain attributes or talents, if you will, that allow us to excel in certain areas but then unfortunately we are left lacking somewhere else. Of course, the good news is that others excel in the area that we don't, so we are actually made to compliment each other. Personally, I think that is a nice way to think of life.

Now it's our job to go out and surround ourselves with those who compliment us, as in pick up our slack in the areas where we are weak (not as in those who will gush over us with "compliments"). I know that there is always something I can learn for everyone I come in contact with, no matter how far advanced they might be or how far advanced I might seem to them. I like that this is what makes us interdependent. I really like the idea of being interdependent. I'm a pretty ornery old cuss about my independence but I do recognize that I need others for quite a lot. So the idea of being interdependent as in, I depend on someone for something and they depend on someone else, maybe even me for something else, as opposed to the idea of simply being dependent on others.

We all make the world go round together. That's an important concept, at least to me. Each and every person is as important as the next and we really should value them that way. Just think what life would be like if everyone truly valued each other. Boggles the mind.

Interesting tome that this is not at all what I had intended to blog. Oh well, I must have needed to hear it.

Who would have thought it would be so hard to buy a birthday gift for a five year old. My granddaughter Macy will be 5 on Monday, her big birthday party is on Saturday and although I ordered a whole wardrobe of clothes for her from Kohls and Gymboree, I still had to buy that special present. Rachel and I decided that I should buy her an easel, you know so she could paint and draw and keep all of her art supplies together in one place.

When I was in Idaho at Christmastime, I had looked at them in Toys R Us and they had a nice selection, so I thought this would be easy. apparently so did Rachel, apparently we were both very very wrong. We started looking online, so I could pick out what I wanted to buy and everything we wanted was out of stock or unavailable until further notice, so last night Rachel went into Toys R Us and picked out a nice one and was at the check-out on the phone with me and I had my credit card burning my little fingers when they checked "in back" and said that's out of stock and no longer available. What is everybody buying their kid an easel for Easter or what. so it's back to the drawing board and we are running out of time.

Rachel suggested I check Amazon and since it was after 11PM when we were on the phone, I told her I would do it first thing in the morning. So.....this morning, very early, I might add, I get up and boot up the trusty old shopping machine. There they are on Amazon, costing only about 20% more, but at this point, who cares, right? I have just go to get an easel delivered to Macy by Monday April 18th. Well after numerous attempts to purchase said easel, and me being ready to pitch the old shopping machine into the Caribbean (seriously I was and hour and a half at it) I finally got the easel of my dreams, and I hope Macy's too, paid extra for expedited shipping (it still might not make it by the 18th, but hey I tried) and I'm taking out my frustrations here.

And to think yesterday my biggest worry was being bummed about missing Macy's 5th birthday party. Rachel is promising to come down for a visit with the girls by June, so maybe we'll have another party then (yeah right, maybe!) in the meantime, I have made my contribution to the cultural arts in the making of another Monet (one could only hope, with my luck she will be more like a Picasso)! Whatever, I just want her to be happy.

Today I ran around like a nutcase, so what else is new. I'm getting pretty confident driving on island, never thought that would happen. It rained most of today too and really hard sometimes and I still made it to all of the places I had to go and I only got kinda lost once, but found my way back to the highway once I saw the ocean (nice thing about and island). Of course, Rick's job got shut down early due to the rain, so I had to go and get him, but it was probably better than doing the errands and coming home to to have to run out and get him before I had another meeting tonight, he even had to do the errands with me.

Oh well, this is one of those boring posts, I'm way to tired, to try to be profound, and I can't even think about what's on my mind, so I had better just go to bed. Hope for at least a little sun tomorrow , so I can get in the pool and work out.

Week Two of this fabulous contest, remember you could be the winner of 5 fabulous nights and 4 sun and fun filled days at a luxury ocean side condo (ours) on St. Croix. We'll cook for you and take you to all our favorite spots. We'll even invite you to stay longer than the 5nights/4days (but we're only cooking the fancy meals for that time, after that we'll work something out). All you have to do to win is sign up to follow this blog. I know your reading anyway, just sign up as a follower.

Don't be mislead by the google thing asking if you want to sign up for a google account, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, just use your plain old whatever email. (Some people have told us they had to do it a couple of times before it worked, so just keep trying, sometimes blogspot gets real busy.) We do not use your email or pass it on for anyone else to use either. So sign up today for your chance to win. We will have the drawing at the end of April or when we get 25 followers, whichever comes first.

Gotta run off to a meeting. To be continued.......................

THIS IS ACTUALLY SUNDAY'S POST. LAST NIGHT MY COMPUTER WAS HAVING FLASH BACKS OR HOT FLASHES OR SOME OTHER ANOMALY THAT WOULD NOT ALLOW IT TO POST!

Having one of those "be careful what you wish for" days and not exactly sure why. I actually had a rather pleasant day yesterday. Rick went sailing with a friend and I was left on my own. First I went to the Flea Market. It actually is the flea market as in it is the Humane Society's thrift store. They have the best used book market that I have seen yet and most books are only $.25. I love my kindle and all but for $.25, I'll read a few traditionally published books. I picked up one I had been looking for that was a recommendation from one of my writing classes and got a few by authors I love, so we're all stocked up. It was a fun thrift store and I enjoyed my time there.

Next I headed over to the west end to go to K-Mart, we have a K-Mart closer but the better one is at the west end (newer and larger). Since I was alone I could browse to my hearts content and of course, spend way too much money, but I did finish up Macy's and Rozi's Easter baskets, no I just have to get them in the mail.

Came home, went to the pool, came home and did a lot of writing. I felt like I really accomplished something. Then Rick got home a little after six and he was rather disappointed, he loved the sail, well most of it anyway but being the "old salt" that he thinks he is, he was completely mortified that he got "sea sick". This was a unusual occurrence for him and probably exacerbated by the fact that he took the left over Alfredo/Garlic/Chicken gourmet pizza for lunch (it really didn't last too long). The good news is, this bout of "sea sickness" has put the brakes on the I gotta have a boat song around here for a while anyway.

Today at church I was called and sustained as the Young Women's President, a daunting task I'm sure. The first part of the job will be to seek out the young women on our rolls who don't come and find out why and see if we can invite them back. This will have to be done while working with the girls that do come and keeping them interested and on the right track. Because things on St. Croix are structured a little differently than in other places I will also be a part of the Auxiliary Council, which is made up of the Relief Society President, the Young Women's President and the Primary President, there is one Secretary that serves this Council and the Seminary teacher (who is a woman) is also a part of it. We all work together to council each other (we have no other counsellors), so, that means I get to be involved in Relief Society, Primary and Young Women's and help solve problems in each of these organizations. My head is spinning.

Here's the best part of this whole deal, the previous YW President had planned a car wash/bake sale as a fund raiser for the two young people who are invited to go to Puerto Rico in July to and EFY. It's happening in two weeks and a large part of it has been dumped in my lap and this is exactly NOT the type of thing I would have recommended as an appropriate fund raiser. Anyway....I'll make the best of it and do what I have to and get past it, but it won't come fast enough

The blog for yesterday was going to be about Parenting, but then I was redirected by a phone call from my 30 year old daughter. It reminded me that no matter how old they are, what experiences they have in life or how far away they live, you never stop being their mother/parent. My heart literally broke to hear of my daughters most recent experience, I could not believe that she had to endure this particular incident and yet as much as I would take these tragedies from her life, I do know that they are all "for her good". It's hard to say that, but I have come to understand that as parents, if we take all the "hard things" out of their path and spend all of our energies ensuring that everything is a "good experience", how will they grow? How will they know for sure that the path they are on is the right one? The bottom line is that no matter who you think you are, you won't always be there and at some point things may not be easy for them and all experiences are not "good", if they have no frame of reference for this, how will they stand up to it.

As heartbroken as I felt for the things my daughter had to endure this past week, I was never so proud of her. She had to make a hard decision and she chose wisely, using all the experience she has gained thus far in her life. She stood up to a gruesome task and did not falter. She learned some hard things that day and I know she will be stronger and better for it. Her choice was in fact the right one, even though the outcome was not what she had hoped and as sad as that is, it is a catalyst for exponential growth. All of these things will be added to her and a part of her life experience and she will stand a little higher up on the mountain. She is also a mother and these experiences will help shape her children, as well, as she passes on her knowledge, experience and philosophy in life.

I had intended to blog about parenting, but these are not the things I had intended to say, but what better way to express our feelings about parenting than to site our children as examples. None of us will be the perfect parent, just as none of us were the perfect child, but this is a place where love does in fact win out. I think if you can send children into the world with the knowledge that they are loved; loved by you and their Heavenly parents that is more than half the battle. I think we all need to forgive ourselves our missteps in parenting and most importantly we need to forgive our parents. After all we are all just doing the best that we can with the information that we have at the time.

This is the post for Thursday, 7 April 2011, really!

Part of the reason I was unable to finish my blog post last night was I got a call from Rachel with some really sad news. She had a horse that was due to have a foal in the next few days. She noticed the horse in labor and thought; well I guess we'll have a baby here shortly (unlike humans, once you can tell a horse is in labor, delivery is only a short time away, generally less than an hour or two). She kept a sharp eye on the mare and noticed that things did not seem to be progressing normally, but the discomfort of the mare was definitely increasing. She checked her as best she could ( because of her profession as a Vet Tech, her checking is pretty good) and called the Vet to come on out. The office she works for has three Vets, but only one really specialized in large animals. Unfortunately, he was not the one who showed up. The Vet that came out gave the horse the human equivalent of aspirin and told her he thought she would have a new baby by morning, Rachel was not convinced. As luck would have it ( now you all know I don't believe in nonsense like luck or coincidence) the other Vet (the one who does specialize in large animals) showed up. He like Rachel thought there was more of a problem. After a lot of technical stuff they found that the horse had was is called Uterine Torsion, which means her uterus had gotten twisted and there was absolutely no way she could deliver the foal, also the blood supply and oxygen to the foal was now cut off and it would be dying, which would also kill the mare. They made a tough decision and shot the mare and did an emergency c-section ( a rather gruesome procedure, done quickly and with very little finesse). The foal was alive but weak and even thought they made major attempts to save him, he only lived one hour.

When you breed animals you are able to enjoy the success of seeing new life come into the world but, unfortunately this is the other side of the coin and although this particular condition, this Uterine Torsion is very rare, death of both newborns and mares is not unheard of. My heart just breaks for Rachel. It is so incredibly sad to me that she had to go through this. She had the misfortune of having to shoot another horse a few years ago. This particular horse had contracted West Nile Virus and was in the final agonizing stages, where it could not be saved under any circumstances, the Vet at that time could not get to her for a couple of hours and rather than see the horse suffer further, Rachel shot it. I had hoped and prayed that she would never have to do something like that again. My heart breaks for her to have to have experienced this trauma where she lost both the foal and the mare. Needless to say she is also heartbroken.

If you subscribe to Rachel's blog you can read it in her own words, but it is much more emotional, so be warned and have your tissues ready.

This picture I posted is just a picture of one of my horses with her baby taken a few years ago.

I did have a topic that I wanted to talk about today, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. I found that after writing about Rachel's sad experience, I feel emotionally drained all over again.

This post was started on Thursday 6 April 2011, but I did not finish it until today 7 April 2011, but it is intended to be the post for Thursday. Confused? I am, but what else is new?

Is it just me, or are other people wondering about the "tags" you see on bogs about the "5 foods you should never eat", if you want to cut down on belly fat. There is always a picture of a big yellow banana along with it. Well I'm as curious as the next guy and heaven knows I want to cut down on belly fat, so I click on it. Now I know this is a way for the blogger to make money, it's called monetizing, so every click earns the blog it's attached to $$$ and I don't mind sending a few $$$ onto my friends but, this is so seriously aggravating because they never tell you what the 5 foods are. They don't even say you shouldn't eat bananas, the poor banana is just incriminated by having his picture on the tag, maybe the banana is actually belly fat friendly. I think if you buy something, you can get the "sacred list of 5", but I'm not that curious. I was just wondering.

What I really need to talk about today isn't belly fat or bananas. I want to talk about forgiveness and redemption. Forgiveness that elusive gift that each of us wants to receive, while we are so reluctant to give it. So often people think that if they forgive someone they are doing something for that person. Often they are just not ready to "give" to the offender. The reality is that in forgiving someone else we give our self a gift. Forgiveness is not for the offender but rather for the offended. Forgiveness frees the offended from the burden of bad feelings, thoughts of revenge and ultimately the offense.

Now I'm a firm believer that no one can really offend us unless we allow it. If we simply choose not to be offended, then there is no offense taken and no need for forgiveness, at least on our part. I can't tell you how many times I've been with a friend and we meet another person, who says something rude to me and it goes right over my head. Later my friend might remark that they can't believe the rudeness of that person saying such and such, and I'm oblivious that there was any offense. This might be just because I'm more than a little blond, or maybe I was in such a good place that I simply did not allow it to offend me. I didn't even hear anything offensive. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and sometime I find myself being overly sensitive to things others say. Possibly at these times people aren't being as rude as I would like to think. More likely I'm in such a bad place, that I am totally susceptible to evil influences.

My advise; give forgiveness freely, always and without reservation. Keep in mind the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Why on earth, are we so hard on ourselves? I have found that most times when someone can't forgive themselves for something, it turns out to be something that they did not do, think or say and could not have possibly done, thought or said. Often people want to beat themselves up over something they think they should have prevented. It just ain't so. We cannot go around preventing others from living their lives, no matter how foolishly, recklessly or deliberately they might choose to do it. The "if onlys" will make you crazy. Let them go. Clean them out of your consciousness. First and foremost forgive yourself for any real or perceived offences.

Redemption, who doesn't want to be redeemed. News flash....it's already happened. The Savior in his great atoning sacrifice has redeemed you. He has already paid the price of all of your sins. As a matter of fact he did this long before you were ever born. So...give it up already, turn from your sins, forgive yourself and get on with living the life you were meant to live and live it to the fullest. You will only get one chance at this life, so don't blow it. That last comment might sound a little ominous, but I really think the only way we would "blow it", is to not live up to our full potential, no matter what.

What to blog? What to blog? I know everyone is waiting with baited breath to hear what witty, insightful, and totally thought provoking things, I will have to say today, even though you all are NOT following me openly. I mean seriously, either the eight persons who are officially following me are so bored that they read my posts numerous times each day or there are have got to be a "few" more of you actually reading because my "counter" says I average between 500 and 600 hits a month that's about 20 a day. So............................

One of the blog's that I follow had a posting on failure today. As we have all experienced failure and at times felt like a complete failure (at least I have) it's an interesting concept to explore. I'm wondering; are you a failure if you've done your very best and nobody was willing to listen? That being the case most of the prophets in the Scriptures would be considered failures. Are you a failure if you begin to implement change and really good ideas but are unable to see it through? That would mean that many world leaders, who were considered to be great people would be considered failures. Consider Gandhi, the Dali Lama, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr. What if you stood for right and implemented changes that were humane, decent and for the betterment of mankind , but these changes led to the bitterest and bloodiest of conflict. Consider Abraham Lincoln, was he a failure?

More often than not, we tend to consider ourselves failures because we don't get what we want, not necessarily what we have worked for or what we deserve. We think of ourselves as failures because of someone else's actions or inactions, like our children, our boss or theological leader. Often we think of ourselves as failures because we don't have as much as the next guy. Did you ever think that all of the cases I just mentioned might actually be signs of success?

We think we have failed because we can not motivate of manipulate our children to do something, but maybe we don't see that they also stand up to peer pressure to participate in the current over indulgences of their generation. We see ourselves as failures because our brother-in-law has a big house, fancy car, boat and a summer home compared to our small dwelling and once a year family camping trip, but we don't see the stress in his family due to the debt and pressure for him to constantly cheat, steal and lie (literally or figuratively) to maintain that lifestyle. We think that we are failures because our family might want or dream of someday having something that we can't give to them right now, but we don't see the strength that is built into each of them by waiting and working for "things" and the appreciation they have for them after "they" have attained a worthy goal. Even rejection from someone or of something we have worked long and hard on, can be an exercise in making ourselves or it better, hopefully not out of revenge or any kind of retribution but out of sincere desire to be better.

So, maybe some of our self declared failures are the same as our unheralded successes. I go on and on and on about how 'Life is not a competition". I believe this with all my heart. I think we waste too much time competing with the next guy, thinking that if we are better than him, we are a success of sorts. I think the only true success is to better ourselves today than we were yesterday. God does NOT grade on a curve. He doesn't average out all the "failures" and "successes" in the world and decide; "well this is the midpoint, so everyone from here on up has made it and those below this point down are doomed". Not for a minute, He looks at the individual. He looks deeper than the surface of the individual and into the heart of man. Our success or failure to Him is deeply personal, and I believe in his eyes most of us succeed.

Many people think I am too laid back and have no competitive spirit. Well if you could look into my heart you would see that is simply not true. I work hard to rein that nasty competitive spirit in and keep him in check. I work hard to only compete with myself and I fail at that a lot of times, but each time I do, I try a little harder.

I think it's so important to applaud (man, I love applause) the success, not matter how small, of our family, friends and acquaintances. Don't worry that they are getting ahead of you, don't worry that you might not have as much, think of how much more JOY you will have if you take joy in not only your own success but also the success of others. If you see someone do something that works great, be glad that now you know how to do something new and didn't have to go through all the trial and error. Oh, and also know that someone somewhere learned something from something you did that worked out well (even if you or they didn't know it).

Here are a few quotes I lifted from another blog:

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Thomas Edison

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

Henry Ford

Thank you Rachelle Gardner for the quotes, the thoughts and the thought provoking.

One last quote:

I thank God for unanswered prayers.

Garth Brooks

Are we having fun yet? I am! to those of you who think I'm crazy with my contest, I AM NOT KIDDING! Maybe this way I'll not only get some more of you to actually follow my blog, but also to come down and see me and share this beautiful paradise in which we live. Besides those of you who think I'm crazy with my contest, already thought I was crazy.

Today is Rick's and my 25th Wedding Anniversary! Now don't strain yourself thinking about the ages of my daughters 36 and 30, the oldest is from a previous marriage and the youngest was born two years after our civil marriage. The anniversary I'm talking about is the one that really matters to most to me. It's the anniversary of our being sealed as husband and wife for time and all eternity. That's right TIME and all ETERNITY! Typical civil ceremonies are "till death do you part", is that sad or what.

In the LSD church we believe in Eternal Marriage and Families. We believe that if "sealed" (married) by the proper authority in the proper place you can be sealed to your partner and your children can also be sealed to you (this was my case, since I was already civilly married and had children) or in the case of a "first time or brand new marriage" the children born to this union, we called in being "born under the covenant" are automatically sealed to their parent)s. Think on this for a minute; it's the happiest day of your life, you are getting married to the man or woman of your dreams, you love them so much, you want to commit to them that love and your very life and then the officiator at your beautiful wedding ceremony says "until death do you part". Do you really believe that death ends it all, that there is nothing beyond the grave? I don't think anybody actually believes that horror tale, probably a lot of people only HOPE that there is something more, but that's a start.

If you believe in God or any kind of Higher Power guiding and directing us, do you think they would set us up for the ultimate unhappiness? Being separated from our loved ones! It simply doesn't make any sense. There simply has to be more and more without those who we have grown to love so dearly, more where we would basically be alone, as in we wouldn't know or recognize anybody, would probably be hell.

Now, I know a lot of people believe that they can see their loved ones again, but this is only the start. In order for this to happen and in order for our unions; marriage, family, friendship to continue doesn't it stand to reason that we would have to do something special, here in this life. (Keep in mind that "till death do you part", part of almost all wedding ceremonies). Well there is, it's as simply as living worthy of that love of not only our earthly families but also our Heavenly ones. It's as simply as making covenants (commitments) that go beyond the grave and having those covenants solemnized by someone with the proper authority.

I have the assurance that I can be with my husband for "time and all eternity", that my children can be with me and my grandchildren also. When families are sealed it creates a chain, one that is stronger than the toughest material known to man. I used to worry that that chain would be broken if my children, although sealed to me, where not sealed to their children and therefore those precious grandchildren would not be sealed to be in this grand eternal chain, but I have since learned that they are sealed to me, even though they may not be sealed to their parents, through that chain by which my children are sealed to me. Is this a marvelous plan or what, nobody left behind, even if somebody decides not to participate. Oh by the way, it works in the other direction also, I am sealed to my parents and their parents and so on and so on (actually I need to do more Family History work [Genealogy] to get back a few more generations, by I'm working on it). How can that be? you ask. Well that's a whole 'nother blog, but I'll get to it.

Everybody and anybody who reads this, please do me and yourself a favor and think on this for awhile. I believe if you do, you can't help but want what I have. At least I hope that in your hearts you'll be celebrating with my husband and I today, our most important anniversary!

Today was the General Conference of our church, so I may wax philosophical on the spiritual side, if that would offend anyone, skip it and tune in tomorrow, but you never know what interesting insights I might have. It could even be "The Answers".

Do you know where you have come from? what you are doing or what you are supposed to be doing here? and where you are going? I do. Knowing gives you a different kind of confidence when faced with the real challenges of this life and I mean real challenges. I have had the privilege of watching some amazing people weather incredible storms int heir life and come out on the other side, stronger and more resilient. I personally have had to make some hard decisions and have had the help of a much Higher Power. I have no doubt that prayer is very real communication with our Father in Heaven and I have had my prayers answered, and some of you have been the ones who answered them. I have heard it said that; God hears and answers all of our prayers, but often he uses other people to do it. Isn't that an incredible thought, that you may have been the answer to someones prayer? It's true and it happens all the time and most of the time we don't even know it.

Yesterday, at lunch, Rick and I were talking about all the people who think we have lost our minds, since we picked up and moved to the Caribbean. It is still the most incredible adventure, and I can't imagine not taking this opportunity, one I'm glad I'm not missing and it's all made possible through a whole lot of prayer and faith. Do you believe that? You should.

Today at General Conference (back in Idaho, Conference was broadcast on our local television channels, so we didn't have to leave the comfort of our home and we could tune in in our PJ's) it was amazing to sit with the other "Saints" on St. Croix and hear and see our leaders speak to us from Salt Lake City (modern day miracles). Between the two sessions we had a Pot Luck, they set up tables outside and we all sat down to eat together. As I looked around and realized that in so many ways these people are so different from me, but in maybe the most important way we are so much the same, and that's our beliefs, our love of the Savior and our commitment to His Gospel. I am so grateful to be here.

After my comments the other day about officially following my blog some of you actually "signed on" but there are still some of you, who I know check up on me regularly who are not "followers". Well in April I'm shooting to increase to a total to "at least" 25 followers, so tell others who know me to sign on and check it out. To encourage everyone, I'm even giving away a PRIZE, we'll hold a drawing including all of the followers. The prize will be a fun filled 4night/5day stay in a lovely condo(ours) on the beautiful island of St. Croix in the sunny Caribbean. During that 4night/5day stay I'll cook gourmet meals and we'll take you to our favorite beached and even the "crab races". All you have to do is get here. Now once you get here, you can stay for more than 4nights/5days but I'm only guaranteeing cooking for that many days and nights, after that we'll be going out or trading off or we'll work something out. So feed my ego, sign up as a follower and let mutual friends in on the fun. Hopefully we'll have the drawing on April 30th or whenever the followers list hits 25.

I love this; a contest with prizes!

One last thing. A few weeks ago some of my friends were going on, on Facebook about the Amazon kindle vs "real books". I of course highly praised and voted for the kindle, but here's something new to think about. The other night after watching "The Next Three Days" a highly entertaining, thought provoking and adrenaline pumping movie, I couldn't sleep. I got out my kindle and within about 30 minutes finished the book I was reading, which by the way, was the second book in a trilogy. Even more pumped by the ending of this book and unable to sleep, I simply switched on the Wi-Fi on the kindle and while laying in my bed bought the third book in the trilogy (for only $2.99, I might add). You simply cannot do that with "real books" not without a lot of planning ahead (not my strong suit), so think about it. I love my kindle.

Last night for our "date" we opted to stay home and have a wonderful dinner "chicken marsala" and watch the next netflix movie "The Next three Days". All I can say is WOW! First of all, I love Chicken Marsala and the movie was one wild ride. I would recommend it to anyone but first fasten your seat belts.

Rachel had told me about this movie back in December and frankly, I wasn't too interest. The by-line is this a teacher decides to break his wife, accused of murder, out of prison. Doesn't really get you going does it? Recently due to my writing class I'm all about characterization and the characters, their flaws, and how the deal with them and the changes that come over them are incredible. When you watch the movie, and I recommend that you do, check out the character flaws and changes in the two main characters, their a little obvious, but then look for two very minor characters to exhibit pretty obvious flaws and then also exhibit major changes. "They" (never exactly sure who "they" are) say that the books and movies that really get to us and the ones that make us "care" about the characters, some of those characters we care enough about to hate and some we root for, but none the less we do care.

If you looking to write something interesting and at all interested in characterization (and you should be) this is a great movie to study. Excellent job of taking a rather sad, mundane situation and drawing us in through the characters and their personal struggles.

Today doing some housework and listening to Conference. Then going to the beach!

Incredibly nice and productive day. Had a realtor showing the place this morning, so I got up, had breakfast, did the quick fluff and buff and headed out to the pool. Worked out, floated around and got out and read in the sun for about 45 minutes ( a little working on my tan there, most of my tan just happens, I am not a sun worshiper, but today it got an extra kick). It was nice and relaxing. Generally I don't make it out to the pool until about 3 in the afternoon, just too much to get done, but this worked out so well, I may have to make it a regular habit.

Today's lesson in my writing class was the mid way point in the course. Got my project turned in and felt really good about it. We finished working out the "story structure" for our projects today and I feel like mine has really come together. Read a blog that talked about research adding to your story and giving it a new depth, so I started on some research on some of the elements of my story. Wow, that's almost overwhelming. Gonna try to keep it up and study one new thing each day for the next week and see if I can get some more fresh ideas to incorporate.

Rick and I decided to fore go the Friday night date and stay home tonight. We have something to celebrate on Monday (tell you about that Monday) so we'll go out then. Made Chicken Marsala for dinner, I had no idea how easy this was to make and is it ever yummy. If you looking for recipes go to www.allrecepies.com; you can find just about anything there, so far everything I have tried is pretty good. Going to go and settle down and watch a movie, "The Next Three Days" with Russell Crowe, hope it's good.