Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I'm thinking that maybe I should post in the mornings instead of waiting for night when I can't stay awake. Not sure what's wrong with me lately but, I wake up at 3 am and can't get back to sleep until about 6 am and then getting up by 8:30am is hard. I drag myself through the day and by 7pm I am ready to crash. It's about all I can do to cook dinner, clean up and check a few things on the Internet and I'm out like a light and then up again at 3am.

Actually last night was a little better, but probably only because I was utterly exhausted. Rick thinks I'm suffering from some "unconscious stress" due to his lack of employment. I think he just can't stand it that I am not really stressed about it (like he is) and he is trying to make me stressed out.

I have been reading Marianne Williamson's A Course in Weight Loss, in which she talks about having to turn the things that are too big for us to handle alone, over to Heavenly Father. I am finding that it is so true. I am also finding that as I turn these things over to him, I really don't have to worry about them anymore. Of course, I still have to do my part, like with the weight loss, but it is so much easier if you let him carry the burden. Interesting concept, actually something I have known for a long time, but only recently put fully into practice in every aspect of my life. I sure do hope I'm getting better at this thing called life.

Rick does have a few options on the employment front, but there doesn't seem to be much out there or maybe he is too stressed to really pursue it the way he did last summer. Either way I'm not getting involved. I have found out after more than 30 years of marriage, Rick likes nothing better than a good fight and he will fight over anything from the trivial to the enormous. I generally get suckered in because I think it's my job to help him, what I have learned is that the best help I can be is to stay out of it and simply to pray for him. Unfortunately, I think this only makes him angry, now he has nobody to fight with and punish because he doesn't have a job. Oh, the viscous web we weave......

Still haven't downloaded our pictures from the Carnival Parade. Looked at them in the camera and they aren't too good. We were facing into the sun and behind so many people that we didn't have a really good angle to shoot from. Also, the return on my camera isn't too quick, so some of the shots that we set up had moved on by the time the shutter actually clicked. I'll try to get a few on but, it will have to wait until tomorrow.

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